Drunken Days
by Shikyou Daemon
Summary: What happens if you throw Cloud into a drinking contest? Alot of extremely random happenings which set off a chain of events which he needs to save the world from. Can he do it, AND find out what he did when he was drunk?


Disclaimer : I own Nada!

For future notes to self : Never let Yuffie talk me into a drinking contest... Yup. I learned four valuable lessons last night. One, Yuffie cannot hold her alcohol. Two, seeing double is NEVER a good sign. Three, never switch clothes with Sephiroth... Leather plus vomit equals a mess... And Four! The most important lesson of all! If you see Zack and Aeris standing before you, you know you've drank WAY too much...

And.. Yuffie had this other one. If you see Sephiroth and I making out, then you know we've all had too much to drink.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Cloud Strife. Ex-not SOLIDER. Ex-captain of a team to save the world... And... The person who has the largest hang over here.

Why is Sephiroth still alive you ask? Er... The hair has magical powers! Who ha!...

Alright... If you won't buy that, then I did not not bring him back with a Phoenix down because Zack was poking me in the side when I was drunk.

"Ugh..." I groaned, rolling over and touching something very silky and soft. What the...

I opened my eyes... And screamed!

Sephiroth was sleeping beside me, not very gracefully I might add. His thumb was in his mouth and he was twirling a strand of that infernally beautiful hair between his fingers.. Ahh! Why can't I have hair like that.. Eh. Off topic here. He was sprawled out on his back, wearing all of my clothes I might add. Thank god.

His jade eyes opening slowly, before he sat bolt upright, glaring at me and snarling, reaching for his weapon (which he thankfully didn't have I might add)."What the HELL am I doing here?"

"You tell me!" I shot back, glaring at him in an equally fierce way. My own mako enhanced eyes boring into his jade cat-slitted ones.

I don't know how long we just glared, one trying to out glare the other. I had my Super-Look-Away-Your-Dead glare. While Sephiroth had his I-Am-Sephiroth-Fear-Me! Glare. He had the advantage though, he wasn't wearing yellow and green chocobo boxers. Instead he was wearing /my/ clothes! My clothes! Mine!

I faltered first, looking down as Sephiroth smirked triumphantly and held up a victory sign to an invisible audience. I raised a brow, Sephiroth shrugged as he got out of /my/ bed. Mine! Not his!

"You snore when you sleep you know." Sephiroth chuckled as he stood up straight, frowning as he noticed he was still in my clothes and started to talk them off. I let out a string of curses and looked the other way, cheeks redder than Nanaki's fur. Sephiroth merely chuckled and tossed said clothes on a heap on the floor."Don't act like such a virgin, Cloud."

I paled and blushed even further. Burying my face in my head and managed a feeble."What did we do last night..."

Sephiroth shrugged."I don't know.. I can't remember half of the night.." He said, inserting a finger into his ear to clean it out before heading out of my room to get to his own."...By the way. That tatto suits you."

I blinked."Thanks... Wait! Tattoo!" I jumped looking at my shoulder. Sure enough, there, in all it's chocobo-y glory, was a black chocobo with a mean look on it's face with the words 'I may be a Hero, but I've got anger issues.' An eyebrow raised... In my drunken stupor.. I decided that I wanted THIS thing! I buried my face in my hands again.. Somehow.. I knew that this was only the beginning of the hellishness.

* * *

It was about twenty minutes later before I was up and in the kitchen... Not my place either.. Okay.. Where did the party take place?

Seventh Heaven.

So where should I be?

Seventh Heaven.

This is definatly NOT Seventh Heaven. It looks more like a mansion..

Rufus ShinRa sat across from me, drinking some coffee while looking over the newspaper. Half of his face was bandaged, and he didn't seem to be pleased with something.

"What happened to your face?" I asked cautiously, watching as the blonde president's visible eye twitched.

"I thought it would be interesting to try shaving with your sword." He replied, turning the page."Didn't work so well so I decided to test it out."

In my hang-over mood. I could only think of one, bizarre, twisted reason.. Leave me alone! I was still half drunk.

"Ah! We had sex!"

Rufus dropped the paper, Sephiroth burst out into a fit of laughter, Reno stared at Rufus and I both, Rude just... Was Rude. Elena clasped both hands over her mouth. Tseng just raised an eyebrow and got an annoyed gleam in his eyes before he went back to his Co Co Puffs. Teehee.. Co Co Puffs.

"No.." Rufus said slowly, eye and eyebrow twitching."Your weapon.."

"Oh.. Thank GOD!" I said... Before noticing I was the only person who had been in AVALANCHE here."..."

Reno snickered."You've been kidnapped, yo." He said, a smart-ass grin on his face.

"Surely your joking.." I said, eyebrow twitching.

"Nope. And don't call me Shirley!" Reno snickered.

"That is so old.." I said, leaning back."Why am I kidnapped?"

"Because I said so." Rufus replied.

Oh.. This was going to be odd.. What else did I do!

* * *

Chapter End.

Kaise : Yup. I got cut off during school. So, here it is! Here's a teensy bonus, which just shows how insane my friends and I are.

Cloud/Sephiroth : Arguing

Sephiroth: Yeah, well mine's long and so much better than yours!

Cloud; Nu-uh! Mine is Freakinghuge!

-Arguing continues for a while as Loz, Kadaj, and Yazoo walk over

Kadaj: Half listens to agreement Yeah, I have two..

-Both Cloud and Sephiroth give him an odd look and step away-

Kadaj: Raises eyebrow ...You were talking about swords right?

-Eyebrows are raised and both men shake their heads-

-Kadaj thinks over what he said and what possible topic they could be thinking of and pales O-O


End file.
